Random Access–Version 1.0

The title will not seem a-tad-bit intriguing to anyone human who has been through the new SRK movie experience which at best can be described as an insane torture. RA-ONE has proven to be nothing more than a disastrous overambitious SRK Action Hero project.

The story, it seems is written by a 10 year old retard and the director Anubhav Sinha, deserves a spot in shoot at sight police list. The movie starts off with a poorly depicted action game sequence where Sanjay Dutt and Priyanka Chopra pull off very mediocre cameos. A small comic respite - iski lee, uski lee and sabki lee.

The movie continues to disappoint further as SRK tries to unconvincingly play a south Indian Geek and later a Super Hero Robot. Karina manages to look fabulous throughout the movie but thanks to poor direction and story line, there was nothing she could do to help the cause. The plot uses the banal out-of-control-Artificial-Intelligence to transfer RA-ONE & G-ONE to reality which is pretty substandard given the amount of money this movie has costed for special effects.

Once our Hardy boys are out in real, there is nothing unexpected you can think off. Scenes are over-stretched and the special effects are very ordinary. Fight sequences can keep you engaged but there was nothing outstanding that can be highlighted.

Second half features to be slightly better than the first one. Few PJs scattered across do bring out a smile and make the movie a tad bit bearable. Not to mention the Karwa Chauth, which is now almost a ritual in any SRK movie.

Although Vishal-Shekhar combo is generally good, but neither the Standy-by-me remix nor chammak challo can be classified as above average. Background track and music effects are not apropos and do not bring the feel of grandiose that an action packed-super-hero movie must bring.

The jokes are crude and tawdry, especially the "condom-condom" and "you-must-not-touch-my-breast" are not exactly the ones I was expecting in a children-family targeted movie. Satish Shah does a decent job in the small footage that he has been given but his role is pretty much forgettable.The movie does have its own set of high points. Rajnikant's cameo at bombay airport fight is very nicely pictured and so is the scene where RA-ONE chases Soniya and Prateek.

Overall one of the worst movies SRK has acted/produced (yeah !! even if you compare it to Madhuri-SRK 1997 movie "Koyla"). Do remember to book your cabs in advance if you are watching the late night show at Belandur Bangalore Central, you just might need to walk back home. Autorickshaws that are either almost never present or too difficult to bargain with are surely not going to help you cheer up after RA-ONE

PS: Neeraj you goddaam bastard, I will make you watch the 2002 epic Jaani Dushman, next time you take us to an SRK movie. Sikka will agree here I guess.